TrainWreckRecovery

1 part therapy + 2 parts wine

Archive for the month “February, 2013”

Catching Up

I’ve been away awhile again. Told you I’d suck at this didn’t I?

Last week was baaaaaad for healthy eating. I just couldn’t get it together. There were way too many fast food wrappers in my trash can. But I made Sunday my last ‘eating like a pig’ day and started back up this Monday.

Sunday morning I had a brunch planned at work. Pancakes and bacon and lots of mimosas were a very happy and caloric start to the day. At that evening I hosted a Lia Sophia party with my friend Lorna. She sells the jewelery and it’s really cute. I generally hate sales parties (so why the hell was I hosting right?) but the stuff is cute and it was definitely low key on the sales. I did a Breakfast Before Bed theme which meant brunch foods again and even MORE mimosas.

I attempted to make Cinnamon Roll French Toast and was mostly successful, however I did end up with the weird eggy bits on the bottom…

So pretty much we just sat around eating bacon and cinnamon rolls, drinking mimosas, watching the Oscars and looking at pretty jewelry. I did end up ordering quite a bit though… it’s freaking cute!

But once Sunday was over I decided to get back on track. I’m back to logging in on MFP and paying attention to how much I eat. And I feel better about that. 

I did NOT however feel great when I got massively sick with absolutely no warning yesterday afternoon. It lasted about 4 hours and left me dehydrated and headache-y  but the worst bit was the complete lack of warning. I went from feeling great to horrible in a split second. And today I’m almost back to 100%. 

Now all I need to do is make it through the week and prepare a grocery list for this weekend. 

Under my umbrella-ella-ella

I’ve been worried/stressed/bummed lately and all for… nothing. Life is actually going pretty well for me right now. Work’s not going completely my way (but so is the way of sales) but I’ve got great friends, I’ve found some really fun hobbies and generally speaking things are good.

Of course you can’t tell that to my anxiety and depression. It’s definitely not as bad as it can be, but I’m trying to work through it. I’m back on my meds which is definitely good and hopefully in a week or two I’ll be feeling better again.

For a few weeks I was having difficulty sleeping. Anxiety during the day sucks, but I HATE anxiety when I’m trying to sleep. Hell even when I manage to fall asleep I have the most stressful dreams and wake up less than rested. 

My doctor proscribed a sleep aid that also works for nighttime anxiety and it has seemed to be helping a little. 

So because of the anxiety and depression and general bitchiness from lack of sleep my eating habits have definitely backslid lately. I’m working on putting together a new weekly menu and going grocery shopping tomorrow that will hopefully help me to feel a bit better. 

I’m trying to work out of this funk and to remember that things are actually looking up for me right now. I need to stop thinking about the worst possible scenarios and enjoying the sunshine while it’s out.

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Twofer

Ok, two posts in one day.

I’ve been away a long time so sue me.

So last post was a bit blah blah blah life sucks. And this one is more… yum. That was a pretty good dinner I made.

I pinned this recipe for a Crispy Quinoa Bake a few weeks ago and figured I’d try it eventually. Tonight I was planning on making my chicken enchilada lasagna until I realized that the tortillas that I had were freezer burned. Bummer. But I figured I take the idea from the above recipe, mash it with my enchilada lasagna recipe and see how it turned out.


If you’ve read this blog at all you know I pretty much suck at recipes.

Basically I made some quinoa (kinda from the recipe above). In a sautee pan I mixed, some shredded chicken, 1/2 block of cream cheese, a can of drained Ro-Tel, most of a drained can of black beans, about 1/2 of a can of drained corn, and a can of green enchilada sauce.

When the quinoa was cooked I mixed it all up and poured it into a greased casserole dish.

Baked it for 30 minutes then topped it with some shredded cheese and baked it a bit longer until it was bubbly and brown.

YUM!

 

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Tastes better than my crappy phone makes it look I promise!

 

I’m a little nuts

It’s really no secret that I’m a tad crazy. This week hasn’t helped to squash the crazy.

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About 2 weeks ago I ran out of my anxiety meds and hadn’t made an appt to see my doctor. I had already done a call in when I didn’t have a refill so I really needed to see him (finally did this thrusday). So… first few days off I didn’t notice anything. Then around day 4 it hit me. Thankfully not the real hard to get through depression, but I was a mess.

I was irritable and bitchy. I was getting teary over the stupidest things. I was frustrated with myself and everyone around me. I couldn’t sleep for anything. I think in 6 days I had about 4 hours of quality sleep. That went on for a little over a week and I felt murderous.

Honestly it hasn’t gotten much better yet, but I am back on my Zoloft and I’ve got a great sleep med to help me get some rest and hopefully a few more days will get me back to something resembling normality.

This week has been nuts though, nuts. Work has been stressful and things there just haven’t gone my way. And then Thursday night I received a text from my little sister that my mom was in the hospital and was going to have surgery.

She’d been having issues with her gallbladder and some problem with her kidney and was supposed to find out next week what they were going to do. But apparently the pain had gotten too bad so she headed to the ER. They admitted her and were planning on surgery that night. 

I asked if I should come down and was told no. Then about 30 minutes later I got a call asking if I could come. They decided to wait until 7:30 on Friday morning to do the procedure and no one was going to be able to get out of work or school to stay with her. 

So at about 10:30pm I headed down. It’s just about a 2 hour drive so no too bad. But needless to say it was another night with little sleep. And then a day stuck in the hospital basically watching my mom sleep and say ridiculous things when she was awake and high on pain meds.

She’s back at home now and so am I and I’m looking forward to a boring normal week. Fingers crossed that I get it!

Just Keep Swimming

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Except it turns out that I can’t swim. Well not in the ‘I’m going to drown’ kind of way, but more in the ‘I’m so fucking out of shape I can barely make one lap in the pool without wheezing like a chain-smoking walrus” way.

It was a pathetic attempt at working out. 

I was bummed. I’d spent a ton of money on a new swimsuit that didn’t make me feel like a fat walrus (mostly) as well as new goggles and a not so pretty swim cap (gotta protect the highlights!). I’d shaved my legs and worked up the courage to go out in public in spandex. 

And then I sucked. Hard.

So I got out of the pool. Spent some time in the hot tub and then the steam room (which made me super claustrophobic but was also kinda relaxing) and decided when I go back tomorrow I’ll take one of those handy dandy kick-boards.

I’ve been MIA the last few days because they have SUCKED. I’ve been all over the place emotionally. Thank you lady hormones! I’ve been having more and more panic attacks, haven’t slept more than an hour or two each night for the last 4 days, and I somehow just noticed that I’m out (and have been for 2 weeks) my anxiety meds. I also gained a pound this week. I am not amused. I’m ready for things to get better again.  I have an appt w/my doc on Thursday so hopefully I’ll be back and feeling great by the end of the week.

So today wasn’t my best. Though I managed to do ok calories wise even with the Super Bowl goodies at my sisters house.

I’m now enjoying lots of wine and looking forward to a new day.

 

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