TrainWreckRecovery

1 part therapy + 2 parts wine

Archive for the category “Crazy”

So freaking annoying

When people show up 2 minutes before you close at work and want you to help them… when it easily takes at least 15 minutes to show them around and get information on what they want.

It really makes me want to ask where they work and show up right before they close for the day and ask a bajillion questions so that they can’t leave on time.

The only thing worse is when it happens on a Friday.

But today was Monday and I was starving because I didn’t eat much for lunch. And I really just wanted to go home. But NO. Someone walks in literally 2 minutes before closing and wanted to see an apartment. To make it worse he had no idea when he wanted to move or really what he was looking for.

PSA: when looking for an apartment have a good idea of when you want to move, a REAL budget, and what you’re looking for (one or two bedrooms? bedroom big enough for a king? lots of light? next to the pool?) Answering the question “when are you planning to move and what are you looking for” with “I’m not sure, I can move whenever and I don’t know, a one or two bedroom, just depends” especially when you won’t state a price range is infuriating.

Blah.

Is it the weekend yet?

Genius idea?

As I contemplated my not yet chilled glass of Pinot Grigio I decided that frozen peaches were the solution.

They wouldn’t water down the wine and the resulting boozy fruit was an added (delicious) bonus!

Bon appetite! Or whatever the equivalent is for enjoy your drink en Français.

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Under my umbrella-ella-ella

I’ve been worried/stressed/bummed lately and all for… nothing. Life is actually going pretty well for me right now. Work’s not going completely my way (but so is the way of sales) but I’ve got great friends, I’ve found some really fun hobbies and generally speaking things are good.

Of course you can’t tell that to my anxiety and depression. It’s definitely not as bad as it can be, but I’m trying to work through it. I’m back on my meds which is definitely good and hopefully in a week or two I’ll be feeling better again.

For a few weeks I was having difficulty sleeping. Anxiety during the day sucks, but I HATE anxiety when I’m trying to sleep. Hell even when I manage to fall asleep I have the most stressful dreams and wake up less than rested. 

My doctor proscribed a sleep aid that also works for nighttime anxiety and it has seemed to be helping a little. 

So because of the anxiety and depression and general bitchiness from lack of sleep my eating habits have definitely backslid lately. I’m working on putting together a new weekly menu and going grocery shopping tomorrow that will hopefully help me to feel a bit better. 

I’m trying to work out of this funk and to remember that things are actually looking up for me right now. I need to stop thinking about the worst possible scenarios and enjoying the sunshine while it’s out.

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I’m a little nuts

It’s really no secret that I’m a tad crazy. This week hasn’t helped to squash the crazy.

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About 2 weeks ago I ran out of my anxiety meds and hadn’t made an appt to see my doctor. I had already done a call in when I didn’t have a refill so I really needed to see him (finally did this thrusday). So… first few days off I didn’t notice anything. Then around day 4 it hit me. Thankfully not the real hard to get through depression, but I was a mess.

I was irritable and bitchy. I was getting teary over the stupidest things. I was frustrated with myself and everyone around me. I couldn’t sleep for anything. I think in 6 days I had about 4 hours of quality sleep. That went on for a little over a week and I felt murderous.

Honestly it hasn’t gotten much better yet, but I am back on my Zoloft and I’ve got a great sleep med to help me get some rest and hopefully a few more days will get me back to something resembling normality.

This week has been nuts though, nuts. Work has been stressful and things there just haven’t gone my way. And then Thursday night I received a text from my little sister that my mom was in the hospital and was going to have surgery.

She’d been having issues with her gallbladder and some problem with her kidney and was supposed to find out next week what they were going to do. But apparently the pain had gotten too bad so she headed to the ER. They admitted her and were planning on surgery that night. 

I asked if I should come down and was told no. Then about 30 minutes later I got a call asking if I could come. They decided to wait until 7:30 on Friday morning to do the procedure and no one was going to be able to get out of work or school to stay with her. 

So at about 10:30pm I headed down. It’s just about a 2 hour drive so no too bad. But needless to say it was another night with little sleep. And then a day stuck in the hospital basically watching my mom sleep and say ridiculous things when she was awake and high on pain meds.

She’s back at home now and so am I and I’m looking forward to a boring normal week. Fingers crossed that I get it!

Just Keep Swimming

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Except it turns out that I can’t swim. Well not in the ‘I’m going to drown’ kind of way, but more in the ‘I’m so fucking out of shape I can barely make one lap in the pool without wheezing like a chain-smoking walrus” way.

It was a pathetic attempt at working out. 

I was bummed. I’d spent a ton of money on a new swimsuit that didn’t make me feel like a fat walrus (mostly) as well as new goggles and a not so pretty swim cap (gotta protect the highlights!). I’d shaved my legs and worked up the courage to go out in public in spandex. 

And then I sucked. Hard.

So I got out of the pool. Spent some time in the hot tub and then the steam room (which made me super claustrophobic but was also kinda relaxing) and decided when I go back tomorrow I’ll take one of those handy dandy kick-boards.

I’ve been MIA the last few days because they have SUCKED. I’ve been all over the place emotionally. Thank you lady hormones! I’ve been having more and more panic attacks, haven’t slept more than an hour or two each night for the last 4 days, and I somehow just noticed that I’m out (and have been for 2 weeks) my anxiety meds. I also gained a pound this week. I am not amused. I’m ready for things to get better again.  I have an appt w/my doc on Thursday so hopefully I’ll be back and feeling great by the end of the week.

So today wasn’t my best. Though I managed to do ok calories wise even with the Super Bowl goodies at my sisters house.

I’m now enjoying lots of wine and looking forward to a new day.

 

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