1 part therapy + 2 parts wine

So freaking annoying

When people show up 2 minutes before you close at work and want you to help them… when it easily takes at least 15 minutes to show them around and get information on what they want.

It really makes me want to ask where they work and show up right before they close for the day and ask a bajillion questions so that they can’t leave on time.

The only thing worse is when it happens on a Friday.

But today was Monday and I was starving because I didn’t eat much for lunch. And I really just wanted to go home. But NO. Someone walks in literally 2 minutes before closing and wanted to see an apartment. To make it worse he had no idea when he wanted to move or really what he was looking for.

PSA: when looking for an apartment have a good idea of when you want to move, a REAL budget, and what you’re looking for (one or two bedrooms? bedroom big enough for a king? lots of light? next to the pool?) Answering the question “when are you planning to move and what are you looking for” with “I’m not sure, I can move whenever and I don’t know, a one or two bedroom, just depends” especially when you won’t state a price range is infuriating.


Is it the weekend yet?

Genius idea?

As I contemplated my not yet chilled glass of Pinot Grigio I decided that frozen peaches were the solution.

They wouldn’t water down the wine and the resulting boozy fruit was an added (delicious) bonus!

Bon appetite! Or whatever the equivalent is for enjoy your drink en Français.



Starting over…

So I completely fell off the ‘losing weight’ band wagon.

But I need to start over.

So I’m gonna.


Like as soon as I’m finished with this bottle of wine.

Or at least by the end of the weekend.

Or something.

I’m definitely not staying fat forever.




My snatch is successfully waxed.

I was terrified. 

But I had missed the window for cancellation and so I had to go.

I have to say, that I was surprisingly comfortable allowing this lady to root around my lady garden.

The lady was a miracle. I went in looking like Sasquatch and left as smooth as a baby.

It was painful. Really really painful. 

But manageable pain. For the most part.

The directly over the pubic bone was surprisingly the worst. 

I definitely suggest it though. 

Now I’m trying to figure out what scent of sugar scrub I want to make to help keep my skin silky smooth. I’m thinking peppermint and lavender…


What the hell am I doing (not safe for straight men!)

Or probably gay men either!!!!


Tomorrow my beaver will become bald as a newborn. I purchased a groupon a few months ago for a Brazilian and about two weeks ago (while INCREDIBLY intoxicated) I made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.


I have been terrified for days and was convinced that I would cancel.


However, I somehow missed the cutoff time and the 24-hr cancellation window passed me by. So now I’m destined to have my pubic hair ripped out in a manner that is most definitely due to be incredibly painful… and for what? I doubt anyone else will be checking out my downtown anytime soon!




Not me. 


For once.


I just dealt with a ton of cray cray today and it’s hard to process.


There was the guy who came into the office crying (and was likely a rent-boy and tweaking).

The mommy of a 22 year old who can’t cut the cord and is managing her daughter’s life. Who is also rich enough to have houses in THREE expensive cities but argued over (a required) $300 fee.

A lady who was co-opting her 94 year old mother’s identity to secure an apartment (and called at least 6 times).

The guy who pretty obviously had stolen someone’s identity when he applied online for an apartment but tried very unsuccessfully to argue that he should be allowed to live in our place.

Really… the stupid, it HURTS!


I’m drowning my annoyance in a bottle of Shiraz and eating a plate full of cheese and crackers and promising myself that I’ll start back on my eating healthy kick in enough time to not be fat for my 10 year high school reunion… can we talk about how that’s happening already and I think I’m not old enough to have graduated 10 years ago?!?!?!?!?

St. Patrick’s Day Fail

We had a big St. Patrick’s Day brunch at work today. I was (as always) in charge of making the mimosas. We were making them green in the spirit of the holiday.

The first bottle of champagne that I opened shot out rather quickly, but I was able to get it to the container pretty quickly. The next 4 were ok. Then came number 6. That one sprayed RIGHT in my eyes. 

Champagne HURTS when it’s sprayed in your eyes!

But despite that bit of fail the brunch did turn out well. The mimosas were good (and green thanks to blue food coloring!). The omelets were fluffy and savory. And everyone was in high spirits… even the guys who were really really  hung over from the Dallas St. Patrick’s Parade and Block Party yesterday. 

We should have offered a bowl of ibuprofen!

The rest of this St. Patrick’s Day will be devoted to catching up with the TV shows I missed this week and finishing off those green mimosas! 

Happy Holiday that American’s Celebrate by Getting Wasted While True Irish People Wonder WTF We’re Doing… Can’t wait for  Cinco de Mayo when we do the same thing except with margaritas!

I suck

I just really really can’t keep up with this thing. I did so well for a while and now I’m back to forgetting about it.

I’m off the wagon. Both with the ‘I’m going to stop drinking so much’ thing AND the ‘I’m going to eat better and work out’ thing. 

So on this Saturday night I’m catching up on Vampire Diaries* (is it a guilty pleasure if you admit it?) drinking a bottle of cheap ass wine and eating a sleeve of Girl Scout Cookies (Thin Mints of course).

*if you question why I watch Vampire Diaries… 

exhibit A:



exhibit b:



Ok, No need for exhibit C… pretty much I just watch for the half naked men. Damn.


Catching Up

I’ve been away awhile again. Told you I’d suck at this didn’t I?

Last week was baaaaaad for healthy eating. I just couldn’t get it together. There were way too many fast food wrappers in my trash can. But I made Sunday my last ‘eating like a pig’ day and started back up this Monday.

Sunday morning I had a brunch planned at work. Pancakes and bacon and lots of mimosas were a very happy and caloric start to the day. At that evening I hosted a Lia Sophia party with my friend Lorna. She sells the jewelery and it’s really cute. I generally hate sales parties (so why the hell was I hosting right?) but the stuff is cute and it was definitely low key on the sales. I did a Breakfast Before Bed theme which meant brunch foods again and even MORE mimosas.

I attempted to make Cinnamon Roll French Toast and was mostly successful, however I did end up with the weird eggy bits on the bottom…

So pretty much we just sat around eating bacon and cinnamon rolls, drinking mimosas, watching the Oscars and looking at pretty jewelry. I did end up ordering quite a bit though… it’s freaking cute!

But once Sunday was over I decided to get back on track. I’m back to logging in on MFP and paying attention to how much I eat. And I feel better about that. 

I did NOT however feel great when I got massively sick with absolutely no warning yesterday afternoon. It lasted about 4 hours and left me dehydrated and headache-y  but the worst bit was the complete lack of warning. I went from feeling great to horrible in a split second. And today I’m almost back to 100%. 

Now all I need to do is make it through the week and prepare a grocery list for this weekend. 

Under my umbrella-ella-ella

I’ve been worried/stressed/bummed lately and all for… nothing. Life is actually going pretty well for me right now. Work’s not going completely my way (but so is the way of sales) but I’ve got great friends, I’ve found some really fun hobbies and generally speaking things are good.

Of course you can’t tell that to my anxiety and depression. It’s definitely not as bad as it can be, but I’m trying to work through it. I’m back on my meds which is definitely good and hopefully in a week or two I’ll be feeling better again.

For a few weeks I was having difficulty sleeping. Anxiety during the day sucks, but I HATE anxiety when I’m trying to sleep. Hell even when I manage to fall asleep I have the most stressful dreams and wake up less than rested. 

My doctor proscribed a sleep aid that also works for nighttime anxiety and it has seemed to be helping a little. 

So because of the anxiety and depression and general bitchiness from lack of sleep my eating habits have definitely backslid lately. I’m working on putting together a new weekly menu and going grocery shopping tomorrow that will hopefully help me to feel a bit better. 

I’m trying to work out of this funk and to remember that things are actually looking up for me right now. I need to stop thinking about the worst possible scenarios and enjoying the sunshine while it’s out.


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